Halloween Surprise

I came home to find the dog removed all the sheets and blankets from my bed. This was, of course, in order to chew raw buffalo bones all over them. Thus resulting in me returning home to a room covered in animal blood. Halloween in the laundromat. 

Dog Days of Winter

Sunday was the second to last day of winter. And it was about 75 degrees. Just like it was all winter. Le sigh, I'll have to wait for dog snow play time next year...

That day I did indeed find out that people wont stop you from bringing giant dogs into sporting goods stores in Down Town Brooklyn. Oh the places you'll go.

Harness the Power

He ate all the buckles off of his dog harness when it was left on my bed. Then proceeded to eat all the buckles off of the replacement harness.

Bread

Three weeks ago Weegee initiated our new roommate, Scott, into the fold by taking select bites out of his freshly bought bread. He never did take it out of the bread basket on the table though.

3.14

I haven't updated this blog in AGES! But Weegee's still up to no good. Last week he ate the birthday pie I made for my roommate. He just looked so gosh darn happy. I couldn't blame him. It looked delicious.

Brush Your Shoulders Off

How many brushes does it take for EBD to get to the center of her seemingly unending karmic debt to Weegee? The world may never know. (hint: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than three).

Whig Party

This was in 2009... so please don't think I go making dog wigs after work every day. Just sometimes. This was for a judge puppet I was making for a documentary that never quite worked out and viola! Instant doggy dolly parton hair.

The beast hasn't eaten much... just a roll of tin foil last week. I don't know if he swalloed any. Hrmm... what else? And a small cardboard box. Today he rolled all over my neatly made bed and covered it in mud. Thanks, friend! Never buy a dry clean only blanket if you have pets, children, or are me. Sadly I think he was also my valentine. Again. We watched the computer destroy the humans on Jeapordy. I for one welcome our new computer overloards!

But this image works for Presidents Day, non?

Day Quil

I've been sick as of late and invariably this means an upsurge of various medicines stockpiled in the apartment. An unopened box of Day Quil was left on the kitchen counter. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. This seemingly unattractive item, left in a high place, was not under lock and key and therefore open game. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. I came home to small pieces of white paper packaging and large, glistening, orange pills strewn across the living room floor. Scream I did. The same as when he ate the bottle of adderall, the bottle of Lithium, his OWN bottle of valium, my sister's bag of weed, and that mysterious pack of menthol cigarrettes. Although, luckily, none of which were ingested in one sitting. I spent a good ten to fifteen panicked minutes hunting down and counting every single pill in sight. I think... I think he only ate three...

Bills Bills Bills

Weegee hasn't eaten much as of late. Possibly because it's snowed a lot and, CHRIST, who isn't content in the snow? Although he was attacked (again) while being watched last week by my sister. So I thought to update this with a few things he ate in the past. I recently remembered when he ate a pile of my utility bills. Yup. And a $600.00 money order of rent money my psycho ex-roommate put on my bed. Cause, ya know, it ain't like the dog sleeps on my bed all day. Except that he does.

And were there always four girls in Destiny's Child? Anyways, these are awesome so enjoy:

The Boss

My dad, Weegee and I went to Bear Mountain for an easy hike this morning and Weegee ate many, many snowballs. Adorable. Then my dad and I drove home and did not miss out on a good old fashioned Thunder Road sing along.

Two Sticks

He ate two sticks of butter and the cardboard box containing them that someone left out on the butcher block. Remember when he ate 40+ green cupcakes my British roommate made for my St. Patricks Day/22nd birthday party? Then pooped green and metalic cupcake wrappers for a week? I DO!

A Good Start to Your Day

This is worth mentioning despite me becoming a crazy person who blogs about dogs. Fine, that's what I am, OK? Let me have what I have and just don't make fun of me to my face.

ANYWAY, this is worth mentioning: Every morning I take das wunderhund to the park. This is because I love him and I want him to get lots of exercise. If he gets lots of exercise he'll be tired. If he's tired he may not destroy all the things I own while I'm at work. Right? RIGHT?! Theoretically. Every morning lots of other swell neighborhood folk also gather round the park with their own four legged friends. It's a jolly good time. Really it is. Waking up early and standing around in your pajamas in the cold of December is called responsibility. Something I don't really quite get yet but participate in anyways. So on this fine, crisp morning our canines romp about in pure delight as the grown-ups sip coffee and make progressively minded political jokes appropriate for such times of day.* Suddenly we are disrupted by one extra slobbery, excited little mutt. He gallops to his master and proudly displays a new found toy! Why where ever did you find it, boy? By golly what could it be? Oh... it's a rather large, black dildo. That's right. Its a mother fucking dildo. Thus began my day.



*(see: Brooklyn)

Mitten Fest

Dear Kevin and Brandon,

This may be a year too late, but I'm sorry Weegee opened your doors and ate all of your Christmas candy of 2009.

xoxo,

E-Train

Loose Lips

He ate my favorite lipstick. Perfect shade. Maybe he didn't think so? This is all karmic punishment in some way that I can't wrap my mind around anymore. Well this one is kind of easy as for some reason I would steal my mother's lipstick from the ages of 2-3, sit under the table and take chomps out of it. Then I'd put it back into her purse and with a mouth full of red say "I don't know."

Over and Over

Die Wunderhund ate the replacement phone for the one he ate. Now I keep it around as a decoy.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I haven't updated this baby in just aboot a whole year! It's not because Weegee has been good. No, no. Weegee's been sadder and badder than ever. This morning he ate my cell phone (as you can see above).

This weekend we went to a new vet as we live in a new neighborhood now. They put him on a drug cocktail of Valium and Prosac. Yes, my canine friend is sittin pretty on goofballs at home as I write this. Like a little 1950's house wife. If only he cooked and cleaned too.

Metal Door Sweep

Weegee ripped off the bottom part of a metal door. It took a few weeks but yesterday he finally peeled off and unscrewed the long strip of alloy that keeps the draft out of my boyfriends apartment. He also devoured the left partner to my right converse sneaker. Moreover an angry note was left on the loft door from the bitchy downstairs neighbor about barking. Oh god, oh god, oh god... we may have to get the old man an anti bark (---shock---) collar :(

3rd Pair

Of glasses. Gone. Finito. Adios. Countless sunglasses have been lost to this beast. Yesterday he collapsed at the Renegade Craft Fair though :(. The asphalt here in Brooklyn was too hot for him to walk on. We took a rest and figured it though. Poor little Weegee. ALSO- the Times had a great article about failed blogs, not to be confused with FAIL blog though. This may indeed be one of them, lets not talk about PoPoMoHo, but one was actually called "Things My Dog Ate!" Uh oh...

While in the Shower

He ate my deodorant

A Seashell

He ate a goddamn seashell. But won at Mother's Day Loteria <3 <3 <3