The Boss

My dad, Weegee and I went to Bear Mountain for an easy hike this morning and Weegee ate many, many snowballs. Adorable. Then my dad and I drove home and did not miss out on a good old fashioned Thunder Road sing along.

Two Sticks

He ate two sticks of butter and the cardboard box containing them that someone left out on the butcher block. Remember when he ate 40+ green cupcakes my British roommate made for my St. Patricks Day/22nd birthday party? Then pooped green and metalic cupcake wrappers for a week? I DO!

A Good Start to Your Day

This is worth mentioning despite me becoming a crazy person who blogs about dogs. Fine, that's what I am, OK? Let me have what I have and just don't make fun of me to my face.

ANYWAY, this is worth mentioning: Every morning I take das wunderhund to the park. This is because I love him and I want him to get lots of exercise. If he gets lots of exercise he'll be tired. If he's tired he may not destroy all the things I own while I'm at work. Right? RIGHT?! Theoretically. Every morning lots of other swell neighborhood folk also gather round the park with their own four legged friends. It's a jolly good time. Really it is. Waking up early and standing around in your pajamas in the cold of December is called responsibility. Something I don't really quite get yet but participate in anyways. So on this fine, crisp morning our canines romp about in pure delight as the grown-ups sip coffee and make progressively minded political jokes appropriate for such times of day.* Suddenly we are disrupted by one extra slobbery, excited little mutt. He gallops to his master and proudly displays a new found toy! Why where ever did you find it, boy? By golly what could it be? Oh... it's a rather large, black dildo. That's right. Its a mother fucking dildo. Thus began my day.



*(see: Brooklyn)

Mitten Fest

Dear Kevin and Brandon,

This may be a year too late, but I'm sorry Weegee opened your doors and ate all of your Christmas candy of 2009.

xoxo,

E-Train

Loose Lips

He ate my favorite lipstick. Perfect shade. Maybe he didn't think so? This is all karmic punishment in some way that I can't wrap my mind around anymore. Well this one is kind of easy as for some reason I would steal my mother's lipstick from the ages of 2-3, sit under the table and take chomps out of it. Then I'd put it back into her purse and with a mouth full of red say "I don't know."

Over and Over

Die Wunderhund ate the replacement phone for the one he ate. Now I keep it around as a decoy.